vertical bike bowling

our own salmon nation sam is about to go viral.

mini bike winter is over...

LONG LIVE MINI BIKE WINTER!

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SHOULDBikesSaveThePlanet

Yalls remember back when we were warning you to fucking prepare for the radness of Mini Bike Winter? Perhaps you even got a personal invitation to come and enjoy the fun? Well you got just 12 days to get your butts to Portland.

This year in conjunction with our "officially unreleased theme" for Bike Porn 4 we wanted to making something that was gonna stimulate your brains more than ever. So it is with great anticipation we proudly announce:


Yes, this shit is real.

And it is happening in Portland.

And you are invited.

You dont need any money, you dont need to be 21 or older (being over 18 would make us more comfortable tho), you dont even need to ride a bike but if you do your chances of not going home alone increase by orders of magnitude. Similarly if you bring us a beer, make some intelligent commentary about the state of transportation infrastructure and make some cool stenciled swag with clothes your brought yourself we will prob swoon.

This is our "cheapest" screening of Bike Porn ever! We will be accepting generous donations which will go to support Mini Bike Winter. The idea is that fun is something people spend way too much money on, and if they only spent less money having fun they could work less and we would have more time to enjoy ourselves. This is what we refer to as the free fun spiral, which when not kept in check quickly leads to unemployment, eviction, and eventually just spending all your time masturbating on your bike under a bridge. (There are no confirmed cases of this yet, we are just assuming since this is what we probably would be doing if not getting paid the big bucks to do it in front of an audience.) But in this case we expect you to just give us a few bucks if you got em and have a great time.

Mini Bike Winter Kickoff Gala
Thursday, February 11th
Lotus Seed
NE 9th and Going

8:30pm

• Panel Discussion: "SHOULD Bikes Save the Planet",

10pm

• Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound - possibly the last Portland screening
  
• World Premiere, "MBW09 in 10 Min" by Jon Huey
• US Premiere, "Velo Love" a documentary of the Velo Vixens by Lauren Warbeck

All night

• DIY stencil station. BYO threads and invent your own brands.

On Friday crazy fun shit happens, on Saturday crazy fun shit happens, on Sunday crazy fun shit happens, and then on Monday... fuck Mini Bike Winter, the Backlash Tour will have begun! We are packing up all the fun and hitting the road, se ya suckers! Enjoy 3 more months of gloom!

Until then, the best reason to ride a bike in the winter in Portland is upon us!

Rejoice!


WE SAID REJOICE!

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why dont we do it inside the road?

what is speed when it comes to sex?

free balling seymoure bomb!

busting out at the steamstriss!

we muster our wheeled recources!

mini bikes provided!


grandview park
11am



credit to our projket B

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Bike Porn Fights Evil Crime

This guest post written by an anonymous crime fighter:

Thursday Oct 2nd, as the plucky bicycle pornographers set up shop at the Hollywood Theater a lady cried out in despair.

"Help! Help! That guy stole my bicycle! Help!"

Like a drugged cat I sprong into confusion, my eyes wide with excitement as something crazy was happening and i wasn't sure what. Peering across the street we saw Toni Russle, a middle aged, toe-headed beautician running on the north sidewalk of Sandy Blvd screaming and running as fast as she could (not all that fast) after a guy on a blue bicycle (strangely he was also not going very fast)

"Stop him he stole my bike! Help! Stop Him!"

So we got to our bikes and I immediately dropped my keys. Then could not get them in the lock, then dropped them again. That was when I was planning on giving up, but as i turned around to look at their progress it seemed they had only gone about a quarter-block. So after a few more tries i was able to get it. By then my friend had already gotten to his bike and was in pursuit. I followed as best as i could, that is to say I kinda decided I could take my time, besides I thought my friend could handle it.

Sure enough he did. About 10 blocks later the thief had encircled the entire block and was now heading heading west to Sandy blvd. He nonchalantly rode the on the southside sidewalk unaware that (almost) two able bodied crime fighters were in (kinda) hot pursuit. My friend caught up to him and collared him down right in front of the Hollywood Liquor store. "How convenient," we thought. It's like dinner in a bottle and a movie." We do appreciate a nip of whiskey with our evil crime fighting.

We had him pretty well detained. And decided to call the cops to let them deal with the punk kid. "Why did you steal this bicycle?"

"I needed a new bike." he said simply.

I called 911 which takes you to an answering machine that asks you if you meant to call 911. This seems kinda smart, but really it was a little distressing being on hold.

The cops were confused by directions but eventually made it on to the scene. When they do finally show up they sent 3 cars. I felt kinda safer.

Immediately the cop cuffs the thief then as soon as he is done, realizes he has a backpack on and uses his knife to cut the straps. My friend and I both flinch at this, but say nothing.

We return the cops to the Beautician who comes in for the show. She is overwhelmed and because he is some "crazy mixed up kid" at the tender age of 17, she decides not to press charges.

Maybe someone would like to tell us about the value of calling the police vs just beating the snot out of a punk who has only a sliced backpack as a warning of why he should not steal bikes.

Thanks, crime fighting friend. We wonder too.

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SLC gives up the goods

The ubombers at SaltCycle.com made a video of the Bike Porn weekend in Salt Lake City.

The first half is pictures from the Minibike Escola, where adults prevent kids from using their playground for hours. We personally asked a little girl to be escorted off the park by Officer Tallbike (also pictured).

It also shows the warehouse where 150 sexy bikers showed up for the screening. As well as the gold sprints, which dominated the rest of the night.




Salt Lake City must have been well primed for the bike love, we already have had 2 promises of bikexploitation videos made from them! Get your submissions in soon.

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After the Slaughteramma

"What ho! A bike club!!!"


Richmond, VA (RVA) is a pretty amazing place. You have a blend of Art students honing the craft at the highly toted Virgina Commonwealth University, the shadow of the Confederacy in the form of massive statues of General Lee and Stonewall Jackson, the depression of the 80s grinding development to a halt, and tons of fun loving bikers enjoying the cheap rent.

Development and gentrification have come to the Oregon Hill neighborhood of RVA, which two years ago was a verifiable bicycle ghetto, with all sorts of characters drinking on the tightly spaced porches basking in the sun.

Some things have changed, but there is still one bike club in town inspiring others from across the east to rally and display their pride. Bike clubs in Dayton, NYC, Atlanta, Chicago and more all represented .

Portland, Oregon's Zoobomb came, saw, and dropped the competition like it drops its pants. Zoobomb took the only prize for the team oriented competition. Placing in every event except the 6 pack relay (we are only a little embarrassed about this). Solid performances the entire day capped off by a strange award party and news broadcast about the awesomness that has just ended. Conveniently enough their massive 6-ft trophy for 1st place was designed(?) to collapse into a medium sized bag. Im sure the Dropout Bike Club from Portland will take the challenge of reconstructing it without trying to blend steel and aluminum

Here is video of the final bout, a chariot race. Sounds simple right? Right?

right...

We want to thank all the great hosts, and we hope to get kicked out of more parties again someday.

Here is a link with lots of videos.
http://www.truveo.com/tag/slaughterama

And now the tour rolls on to Chapel Hill! If the hundreds that turned out in Richmond screaming for more bike porn are any sign of the future the south is more ready for sexy bike culture than many concerned parties realize.

Monday March 31st, 2008
St. Anthony Hall
207 Pittsboro St.
Chapel Hill, NC
8 pm

Come on out and enjoy the sexy bike action tonight!

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Flashback February

crap, this actually got us pretty hot.


Mini Bike Winter 2008 montage from millz on Vimeo.
thanks to millz and the Santa Cruz crew for doing it better!

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