"Pass my vat o' lube, the internets look appealing"

Clicky Clicky! The internerds are awash in bike porn!

Our crack staff of media whores have been out "packing the bottom brackets" of local bloggers. The world premiere of Bike Porn 2: bikexploitation is this Friday the 13th of June. The sexy bikers of Portland have stunningly high expectations of the upcoming show.

Jonathan Maus of Bike Portland and Matt Davis of The Portland Mercury were kind enough to promote our exploits in shy, perhaps even cute adherence to the "talk about porn but make sure that you provide fair NSFW warning to avoid getting your surfers fired" rule. Thanks to you both for double teaming the release of the new trailer.

If you are planing on coming out we heartily suggest that you prepare yourself for excess. That could mean consuming energy drinks ("CORE" is 10% alcohol, leaving only 90% energy?), and/or wearing a crown of leaves and a bed sheet as there is a "300" themed ride leaving from the Clinton Street Theater to the MMR directly after the show ends.

This years submissions come from a variety of places: Seattle, Santa Cruz, Columbus, Brooklyn to name a few. Thus this program is much more than just one person's idea of a cool way to spend the night. This program includes many interpretations, but there are plenty more voices that need to be heard. Start your conspiring and make something you will be proud of.

Thank you pornographers, supporters and fluffers!

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Countdown to Calipornification

I have abandoned my Portland bike mecca to take up arms (and legs) in the heart of car culture. Los Angeles! A fierce combination of cyclists are assisting me with the Bike Calipornification Tour.

We are hitting all the biggest, baddest, cycle-horniest places south of Portland on this tour: LA, SF, and CG*

One of the most exciting part for me is getting to meet some of the people who submitted videos. Both Paul de Carcass of the SFVISBF and Colin Arlen of Macaframa who co produced the San Francisco Track Bike video will get to see the entire program for the first time.

We are very thankful for our supporters who remind us that our bodies and our bikes need lots of love.

A variety of sponsors is helping to make this evening even more special... that is to say there is some cool stuff you might get just for showing up:

• A display of too sexy bicycles, Merry Saddles is strutting its stuff.
  
• One of the longest running, women operated sex stores in the country Good Vibrations is helping us shake it up in San Francisco.
  
• Ashira of Red Riding Hood Productions has some hats.
  
• Liz and Shay of C.I.C.L.E. are providing tshirts
  
• Babeland has recently opened a new store in LA and is pulling out all the stops!
  

UPDATE: OH CRAP! I ALMOST FORGOT

• Orange 20 bikes will support the cause with some of their fine wares
• Jen Diamond has stepped up to provide one of her handmade Jerseys

screenings in Santa Cruz? Dubious. In Davis, CA? Likely! Bike Porn Radio interview New Years Day @ 5:15 PM with Pastor Ted.

*CG... as in Cottage Grove, Oregon. Duh.

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Local Blogger writes story about blog

I suppose it doesnt get better than this:

http://bikeportland.org/2007/09/19/local-filmmaker-takes-bike-porn-on-the-road/
I particularly enjoy this nuggget from the article:

You might be familiar with the term “bike porn” — it’s become a sort of slang for photos of gorgeous bikes — but trust me, this is something completely different.

HA! Take that all you old school bike pornographers. Your high detail shot of a 1900s lugged track frame with wood spokes is in yesterday's jizz bucket. (although I'd love a picture of this)

Presently there is more "bike porn" out there than I can wade though with a T1 connection and a bucket of tri-flo. Still, I get to imagine the day that I can hire Jonathan away to write all this crapulence for me.

Search for "johathan maus naked" on google. Its fun!

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