And what a show! We were able to get local nut job/ writer/ self-deprecating gentleman Jimmy Doom to step to the mic for some inspired rantings including a bike porn inspired bit about his momma writing a note to his pastor decrying his bikesexuality. Hilarious and on topic? STUNNING!
even more discounted price to those not wearing pants! How better to encourage watching dirty films but to remove those annoying leg garments!
We are truly blessed and if we can do it next year we are gonna go with our hosts idea to combine the screening with a weekend of building chariots for a massive rolling party of destruction. Sure Portland* has for several years hosted Chariot Wars, but only in a small space of limited post apocalyptic insanity. Consider the differences when you have your choice of warehouses that are completely vacant, and have been for over a decade. Hell not just a few buildings, we are talking about entire blocks.
Get your battle armor ready but leave the foam behind. This is Detroit. Find a piece of scrap metal.
Here are some pictures and random memories from our final stop in Florida:
daunted by size or status. In fact we are developing a hypothesis about if we were prevented from playing Tallahassee due to their state capitol building's pronounced... uh excitement. It could be that bike porn would overwhelm the already incredibly erect and rigid Governor's office.
Hey now, two shows into the Backlash Tour and we are already getting some FANfuckingTastic reviews of Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound.The featured shorts in “Cycle Bound” reflect a diversity of ideas about what sex is, could be and should be. Some of the movies are pure comedy, parodying clichés in the porn industry or playing up any available visual puns offered by the bicycle frame. Several films feature nude Portland bikers doing awesome things on their Franken-bikes: dive-bombing hills, playing games and racing around the city. Conceptually, this still falls under the category of porn: For a Portland bike cultist, tall-bike jousting is as good as sex.Curious, we have been promised tall bike sex for so long, its almost upsetting. And really the way some people have sex is a lot more like jousting than they would probably like to admit.
I also came to question the limits of the sex positivity movement. Can such a cerebral distinction actually draw the line between exploitation and empowerment? Though there were obvious elements of role reversal and satire in the raciest moments of Bike Porn — including a short that used a child’s bicycle to parody the concept of “kiddie porn,” and a scene in Tour de Pants that looked a lot like gang rape — I don’t imagine that a victim of sexual exploitation or assault could sit through the whole presentation and feel empowered.
you can also see the head tube is also bladed for extra reinforcement. We used to have those similar spinergy Sprox wheels that are made with noodle like spokes of kevlar. A special tool is required to true the wheels (naturally, fuckers)
We didnt't go inside this place with glowing meats, and dancing pigs but we hear its BIG. instead we picked up material at DressSew just down the street. A new screen for projecting movies onto will be available soon!
actually we were able to make some decent coin off our little show in Vancouver. Great turnout and lots of excited bikers wanting to make some of their own bike porn! But yea the Olympics are still pretty fucked.
"The Party Queen"
I only tolerated her as long as I did because of the bottle of SoCo that was in her possession...
But as bottles usually do, it ran out within a matter of time. Even with the liquor she was proving a difficult person to deal with. If caught in conversation with her, which was a daunting cliff to climb out of, you constantly felt your I.Q. slipping a couple points. And then there was the laugh, or was it the mating call of a giraffe with a sore throat, I forgot to ask. [moreover EVERY utterance was punctuated by said laugh making it a trademark behaviour - ed]
*For more enjoyment, read the following section in the eloquent voice of a sorority valley girl all coked up and ready to make you curse god and/or evolution for giving you the ability to hear.
“Sorry for partying!!!! But this is how I do it, not in Portland but when I'm here this is what happens,
I work seven days a week, twelve hours a day with kids! So when I party I listen to shitty music and dance and I'm obnoxious!”
she carried on with this speech from couch to couch apologizing to the people who were already sleeping, what a saint. Two things came to mind when she approached the futon that I was trying to enjoy. One, Doesn't she have to work tomorrow? And if she thinks her own music is shitty why listen to it as well force others to deal with it?
One brave fellow, was waging a passive aggressive war with her by turning off the music, only to have her turn it back on. The party queen felt she had found a sympathetic ear in mine and confided that “I don't give a fuck, I don't live here now but I did, and that was before he did!! and I don't give a fuck!!!! he's dating my best friend and she was awesome before, I mean she still is...” I couldn't understand the rest of her babbling but she concluded with her signature catch phrase “i don't give a fuck! (insert sore throat giraffe mating call here)”. Thankfully I was the distraction and the aforementioned saint struck a dagger into that ugly dragons heart in the form of hiding the ipod from hell away. from its owner. After a few slammed doors and a “i don't give a fuck!!” we the oppressed were freed from tyranny of that party queen.
- Tanx Josh and tanx Ashland! We hope to return someday and see what kind of real trouble we can get into. Only Corvallis and Eugene remain... wait until December 3rd
Some of our hosts have requested that we take a moment to remember some of the happenings in the various cities. Seems like the kinda thing that might happen frequently but more likely this will be the only one, so enjoy it fucckos!Now it seems silly and pointless. Suck is life...
Fuh-Kin-Rhad is how the native settlers to this area might have described this weekend. It was Dry River's third year of operating a radical resource space. Of course they needed a major party to celebrate. We have only shown both movies on the same visit in 2 other cities (Seattle and SLC, both bike porn meccas in their own right) and nowhere in Arizona, New Mexico or Texas has The Pornography of the Bicycle been screened."All these kids come drive down from the suburbs in their parents cars and plead poverty. I just want to shake them soundly and yell, 'Ask your mom for $2 you spoiled brat!'Still it was exciting to see all the overwhelmed faces straining to understand what they had just seen, including a performance by the Whiskey Breath Burslque who in their creative-ly stripping-mocking fashion were the first people we heard using the phrase, "Obama-Nation" only days after he won the November election.
A front runner in "The most uncomfortable moment of the Westward Ho! tour award" goes to a lanky bearded fellow following the screening. A person resembling Brent Barber of the Bicycle Film Festival hounded our pornographers for about an hour. He had many of the same facial expressions and kinda awkward behaviors as Brent. Perhaps a relative?
Over the course of the weekend we were able to to a radio interview on Free Radio ChukShon with Estaban Caliente.
but many (possibly most?) of the shop folk were specifically avoiding the show at all costs. Nevertheless the ones that did come were very stoked and connected us with some bike polo players, who turned out for some sport two days in a row when they normally would not. We hope that with the half dozen new players who showed up will become regulars to the sport will get connected with the growing international hardcourt polo movement and visit us in PDX sometime.
Biking around we didn't find much excitement... or even traffic. It was after 7pm and the city doesn't have much of a nightlife, which is to say it is pretty great to ride around without traffic. This def not the case in in the afternoon, when simultaneously every car in the city appears out of every hole and nook to claim their personal space on the road.
After watching a few reels we were feeling the need to do some reeling of our own and staked out in search of stumble juice. Somehow the Twinks were not able to get into the bar thus there was only a solo pornographer alone with a gaggle of tossed Obama supporters. We swapped stories for a min while they ogled the polo mallet."We have whiskey and weed and you can crash on the floor"
Ah, well, if that is what is required of us, so be it. We biked on, barely able to keep pace with the two women on cruisers. Eventually we caught up to them and then we were off road, dodging bushes like we were gay cabana boys at a cougar convention. The girls decided they would take this opportunity to get wet and we were in no position to offer suggestions. We did try to explain how cold riding home will be if they didn't remove their clothes, but sometimes explaining is not enough. As it turns out the Rio Grande is not all that warm in late October at 2am. However it is muddy so we just barely made ourselves compliant with their requests to "Join us!" by wadding shin high. After the girls fell in and were soaked a few times we headed off again, now turning North along the river and a few parks.
Much whiskey and many blunts were consumed. Actually this night may have consisted of the highest quality of smoke and drink for the entire trip. A never ending dance party commenced but in lieu of being oversexual the girls were committed to being coy and the boys were committed to being lazy. This kind of combination normally ends with regret on someone's behalf, but at some point various members were dragged onto a bed from where they had collapsed on the floor. Sounds of sleeping were not heard.
