US Border threatened by Canadian Hot Inch Action

Without a doubt, we love aspects of our American heritage. Its a challenge accepting the burden of being the world superpower with lots of personal freedom and people from all over doing different things and making good stuff happen.

We love that we can delineate a space. Being from a specific place does give us a sense of who we are. But there are a lot of reasons why that delineation sucks. Border guards, for example, are skilled at fucking with people who dont conform to their expectations.

Here is yet another great example of why borders are TEH SUXOR!

Friends of Bike Porn Industries have been curating a show of buttons. The small, coin-like disks represent just about any opinion are part of the holey trinity of DIY idea distribution (along with stickers and patches). Hot One Inch Action encouraged everyone to design a button, which would then be produced and available at their traveling art show.


It was wildly popular in Seattle and Vancouver, BC (where the organizers hail from) and the Portland show was scheduled for tonight... but then, there are customs and there are Customs:

Hi everyone, sorry to say that Hot One Inch Action in Portland tonight has to be postponed until a future date. The buttons were denied entry - they didn't believe we give most of them away and sell buttons for only $1 each. The show is ready to go so we'll sort out the border and reschedule. Do a search for our Facebook fan page or email buttons@hotoneinchaction.com to hear about when the show will happen. Sorry- we're super disappointed and look forward to making it happen in the future.

we call bullshit when we see it.

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OMG WHOSE PEGGERS?

Fantastic, Winnipeg will host a screening of Bike Porn tonight!

• 13 May, 2010
• The Emma Goldman Center
• 91 Alberta
• Above Mondragon
• @ 11pm
• $5 suggested donation, adults only

Moreoever we are having our show in conjunction with an art festival.
"Stain the Stairs" is a showcase of local artists feating visual, aural and edible creations. Come by at 8:30 and stick around for the screening.

WHEW! We are glad to be giving the peg a once over! Here's hoping we can we escape the MANitoba!!

As joyus this is, our future is still troubling. Will we have such luck in sAsskatoon? Plus our examination for a show up your Regina still looms! Help the bike porn tour conquer the Canadian Plains!

Who will help us find venues in Regina and Skasskatoon? Email bikesmut[at]gmail.com

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bike porn takes the whole peg

Virtually, and with emotion, we are taking the providence of manitoba by submission!

At the crossing it seemed "we done been pillaged by the rather tax-heavy border guard." And were allowed entry. For the border's billing purposes there were more than 50 pills in a container that seemed practically empty.

But we are here. We are queer. We are used to it.

Power to the bike perverts!

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sobrity, as a metaphor for "suck"

Since the end of the tour I have stopped drinking, which has let me come to understand a little something about myself. I really miss alcohol! I use it for all sorts of things: drinking, partying with, talking about, putting into flasks, pouring down throats, lubricating the screws, tying one on, and possibly most importantly providing for my kruktankerous family, the Lushes of the Pacific Northwest.

Why would a person surrounded by booze, whom takes time to regularly speak of its natural benefits, ever stop? Perspective. By stepping back from the edge we are given temporary clairvoyance of the big (and not quite as fuzzy) picture. Plus it gives me reason to experiment with other intoxicants. Moreover when I do start drinking again, look out, cause my tolerance will have slipped back to the human level. Meaning I can go to a bar and easily get trashed. No more sneaking a beer bong into the bathroom, no more trips to the corner market between games of fooseball, no more drinking before I go out drinking. Well, some habits are hard to break, so I'll probably still be a cheap ass.

This is especially important because I am about to embark on another almost annual ritual of mine: joining Seattle's Dead Babies in their first Friday club ride. Tragedy has befallen my northern friends since I have last enjoyed their company. Kevin Carter, Devlin Williams, and Phillip Hollins, Three bikers who all did time delivering for Fleetfoot are expected to have died in an avalanche this winter. I'll not take a sip until i can do so with my friends and express my regret.

To those we can no longer drink with.


I wish I could kidnap them all and sneak them accross the border to Vancouver BC where the bike kids are hosting a Bikes Inside party! That's right this Saturday, Feb 2nd bring your bike and ride around, indoors! It's kinda like being outside, only not as cold, dark,wet, or depressing. That is what we have Mini Bike Winter for. To crush spirits like empty cans under your heel, Seattle style.

Man I need a drink.

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Arrest, Denied Constitutional Rights, Bored Gestapo

This is the story of our friend Lauren and her time in jail this New Years. I talked to her just after her release on the morning of Thursday, January 3, 2008.

Her crew of friends went to go play in the desert some 40 miles North of the California-Mexico border. After a few days camping they were traveling north, away from the border, heading back to Oakland when they were stopped by Homeland Security.

The Flower Shop Bus is not a corporate branded coach with business professionals in suits. The outside is a unique, colorful explosion of art and counterculture; a rolling bohemian transport.

"But we never crossed the border. We never left US soil, and you have no reason or right to detain us," they protested.

Standing outside the bus with their police dog Homeland Security was not deterred."If this dog is not let on board the bus we are going to have to pull everyone off."

The passengers were not willing to give up their constitutionally protected rights. "We do not consent to a search," they said.

So the guards walked the dog around the outside of the bus. At some point the dog handler interpreted the dog's actions as a sign. "We have probable cause now. Everyone off the bus"

The passengers complied with the orders. "Funny thing," one of the passengers said. "Once they had decided they had probable cause to search the bus they did not bother to take the dog on board. They just started throwing things around."

The passengers were not trustful of the guards. "can we watch you search our bus?" They asked.

"You can observe from outside the bus." the guards said. Then just moments later all the passengers were told to go inside the holding cell at the Homeland Security station.

The Homeland Security guards searched everyone. They took everything other than one piece of ID and cash money. The passengers were then locked in little gray rooms. One with 6 guys. Another with 6 girls. Their accommodation included:

• a toilet without seat
• a water bottle
• graham crackers and gas station burritos (enough food for one person shared between 6)
  

They were repeatedly told that they were not being held or detained. (Once a person is detained that person gains certain protections and rights, including being told why they are being detained. If the officer cannot tell you why you are being held you are free to go.)

To avoid letting their spirits dampen they played games like hurricane and farticane and tried to communicate with the other holding cell.

Eventually the guards brought everyone to a room with a table on which sat a pile of drugs: marijuana and mushrooms.

After a long moment they asked who was responsible for these drugs. Everyone was confused then, quickly, the passengers all became very irritated. They had just spent half a week in the desert. By the time they left their makeshift campsite they had almost nothing left. No paint for art, no food for eating, and certainly no drugs.

"Hey! Who's been holding out?!?"

It was explained to them that although there was no way to prove ownership they would all be charged with possession, trafficking and the like. They would not detained, nor held, but they would not be able to leave. Or, if they cooperated, and the owner took responsibility everyone else would go free.

After some discussion about their options it was decided that the driver would take the fall: misdemeanor possession of marijuana, and felony possession of mushrooms. Also a French girl who had overstayed her visa is in the process of being deported. Presently she is being held in San Diego.

Quipping about the drug war and the incredible waste of resources it creates, one anonymous passenger said, "I think they should go out and pluck all the plants that are illegal."

"It is rather ironic. Here are travelers on a lonely road... Here is a federal agency that I pay to keep me safe..."

Shawn was able to get Lauren a flight so that she could reconnect with the Bike Pornification Tour. She got off the plane onto the BART and caught the last half of the 2nd show in San Francisco.

Lovers of pornography beware! Our borders shrink every day and our rights diminish even faster. Persecution for behaving or appearing different is tantamount to enforcing a homogenized, milquetoast culture of xenophobia.

Wear protection, carry lube and be ready to defend your sovereignty .

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