Baack on davis radio

Again with the sweet radio broadcasts! Our crew of humpy-go-lucky pornographers are no stranger to radio, with interviews with the people behind Free Radio ChuShawn in Tucson, AZ and Davis, CA. We returned to the air on Davis radio this past week. And you can listen to it we think by clicking on this link: http://www.kdvs.org/shows/view/show_id/898/date/2009-09-15/

Bike Porn has a curious history with Davis, as we were welcome with warm arms in an otherwise empty campus over winter break 2 years ago, then just last year we found out that the UBER bike friendly political climate had changed. Not only was the Bike Church kicked out on a specious argument of "safety" but our crew was encouraged to peddle the smut elsewhere!

This was after Davis was the first place in North America ranked as a Platinum city! Years before Portland even*! Whoa! Times do change and while there are lots of people still utilizing bikes as effective efficient transport the idea that a city might turn its back on the homegrown bike organizations as soon as the berg gets its award for being "bike friendly" is more than a little disquieting.

Could Portland (or any other number of currently rad bike places) be on a similar path to lameness? Lets hope not. As for the now defunct Davis Bike Church? They have a new location and name,

BEHOLD, BIKE FORTH

We look forward to checking them out when we make our triumpunt return to Davis in early February (we think) Mark something (but use pencil)!

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*We are a little dubious of some of those statistics. 60% of Portland’s police force patrols via bicycle. - Really? Hrm...

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Riding Dirty with the Lord

SLC is a sweet city for bikers. There is a zanny religion with its overly kind followers providing an unlimited supply of straight men yielding metricfucktons of comic gold. The inherent need to differentiate oneself from the straight laced bikers make non Mormons (and bad Mormons) stand out even more.

There are street bikes, mtn bikes, freak bikes, and cheap tacos on every corner. Sure their beer is usually weak as macro brew but that just goes to show how determined they have to be to get well lubricated. So we shouldn't have been surprised by this gem:





Why ride one when you can ride three?






















Balls.



Studies have shown that cycling improves ones stamina. Along the same lines some have ventured that bicycling leads to greater promiscuity. Could there be a link between having sex with lots of people and riding a bike?



Probably not unless you got something cute and a lot of alcohol (in which case people quickly forget about transportation altogether). Still one wonders if the LDS church has ever taken a strong stance regarding missionaries hooking up. This is the middle of Sexual Assualt Awareness Month with specific focus of workplace issues. Does the Pope have a stance on gay missionary sex? Perhaps sans condoms? (3.66 million results and counting)

Take note: contrary to what some prophets may tell you riding a bike does not always lead to sex.


Meanwhile in Cascadia a group of plucky cyclists are gathering toward the creation of a Bike Temple. Ideally it will become an open space for worship and cycling. Extra fitting since today is the official reopening of the previously closed Davis Bike Church.



Lets all take a little communion and give thanks for another day to ride.

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Davis Bike Church: Get the Fuck Out!

Brothers and sisters, it has come to our attention that the Davis Bike Church, which has been offering education, tools and support to cyclists for several years, has been evicted!

Citing things such as being open to the Davis community-at-large as a liability the UC Davis Student Housing has not given us any possible alternatives, stating only that we need to get out.
- paraphrased statement from the Bike Church Ministers

This is a very disturbing turn of events. Davis, California was the nations first platinum bike city as defined by the American League of Cyclists. It has been a badge that many residents have worn with pride. After this despicable act they may be the first city to ever loose the status as a Platinum Bike City.



Bike Church represented at 3:40 in this Street Films movie

To contact the UC Davis Student Housing, email Chuck Huneke, Assistant Director of Residential Education jchuneke@ucdavis.edu

and/or

email the the bike church with your support: bikeministry@ucdavis.edu

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Out of the Living Room on to the Streets

What ho! Davis has all the infrastructure to make any city jealous (except some form of mass transit that connects with an elevator that takes one to the top of a hill in an old growth forest just outside an urban center... but other than that its great!)

The thing is they are suffering from a lack of culture to draw the like minded folks together. Last night viewers of The Pornography of the Bicycle came one step closer to an active bicycle culture.

30 people crammed themselves into a modest living room in the N St Cohousing. This was the first time we had a public screening in a private residence. It was a little different to be sure. In a big theater anonymity is very possible, even likely, and hecklers (totally encouraged) are unknown voices clamoring for more. But in a small space everyone knows who said what.

The big advantage was being able to take 15 min after the show to answer questions. So many questions. "Why did you do that?" "How do you normally ride on your saddle?" Does that hurt?"

The audience generously donated $75 to our humpalicious efforts. And then a motley crew consisting of a recumbent tricycle, a tallbike, a single speed, a pedal-electric hybrid 2 seater, and the mobile bike church trike rode off on those mean Davis streets.

Thanks guys, now go start up some bike polo league. I got a hankerin for some nice biker on biker violence.


TONIGHT! BIKE PORN @ THE ROXIE!
@ 7 and 9:30 pm
with gifts from Last Gasp and Good Vibrations

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Bring Porn Home

Tonight, Jan 2nd we are having the 1st ever public screening of The Pornography of the Bicycle in a private residence.

Our friend Pasture Ted has arranged for a nice spacious domicile at 732 N Street in the Platinum Bike City of Davis, CA. I'm looking forward to seeing 1st hand how much better it is than biking in Portland. I hear their cops still give out lights to bikers without them, so maybe i will get lucky.

Regardless this is a unique opportunity to experience these programs in a very intimate setting. Maybe I will talk for a bit afterward, or maybe I will get run out of town.

Thursday, January 3rd we screen our bike porn in San Francisco at the Roxie. Everyone's eyes light up when i say that so the theater must be pretty good.

We also got some sweet gifts from our friends at Good Vibrations. A book on masturbation a couple cockrings and more!

I want to thank Cyclecide for hosting the best NYE party I've been to in a while. Good people, good performances and no cover! I love me some free fun!

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One down, and still 3 to go?

We had a fun night sharing our unique material, or more accurately, we looked at sexy biker's tits and cocks and were happy. With the encouragement of Sarah from Babeland we hosted a Sex Positive Game Show, which included a brutally competitive 10 second orgasm contest. We did the WNBR Reenactment with our Naked Justice Players:

• Fuzz Beast portrayed Off Duty officer (naked biker assaulter) Chad Stensgaard
• Shawn Furst as the Coked-out pissed-off SUV driving debutant, Amanda Truscott
• A hairy Franz played the naked and vulnerable road user, Rev. Phil Sano

Although the show's attendance was under my expectations, the two hundred screaming bikers seemed to enjoy themselves.

Thanks to the sponsors (including the generous guy who give up some 2008 Sprockettes calendars) our raffle made $200 for the Bike Oven. (btw it is amazing to see how much they have grown in only a year.)


More exciting news: Bike Porn has a new sponsor. Our smutty underground friends over at Last Gasp Publishing have agreed to provide some of their finest goods for our San Francisco audience.

Now we are on our way to spooge over Davis, San Francisco and Cottage Grove.

That's right I said Davis (as in the town outside Sacramento). Pasture Ted has requested a screening for the other most bike friendly city in the United States. Who am I to turn down another man of the cloth... although I'm guessing mine is a little more crusty.

I'll be on their VELOlution radio show this Monday Jan 31st @ 5:15pm Listen to KDVS radio live by clicking here

I hope I can follow their dogma:

Bike Church Ten Commandments

1. Thou shalt not throw away a bike
   

2. Thou shalt not use a bike's name in vain
   

3. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's bike
   

4. Thou shalt not use an internal combustion engine when it is not necessary
   

5. Honor thy tricycle, thy bicycle & thy unicycle
   

6. Take the oil of the earth and anoint thy bike
   

7. Love thy bike as thy self
   

8. Thou shalt not worship other idols (cars)
   

9. Attend church regularly and ride the last friday of every month in Critical Mass
   

10. Metal recycling will be the only means of reincarnation
    

11. Thou shalt leave the church as nice or nicer than it was found

Er... Maybe I will get to ask them about their creative mathematical skills.

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