Showing posts with label oregon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label oregon. Show all posts

Friday, February 19, 2010

ReMembering Oregon, a discussion of sexuality

Hey now, two shows into the Backlash Tour and we are already getting some FANfuckingTastic reviews of Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound.


Grace Pettygrove's article of the bike porn screening and discussion at The University of Oregon totally hits the mark. Her column includes a number of gems like this:

The featured shorts in “Cycle Bound” reflect a diversity of ideas about what sex is, could be and should be. Some of the movies are pure comedy, parodying clichés in the porn industry or playing up any available visual puns offered by the bicycle frame. Several films feature nude Portland bikers doing awesome things on their Franken-bikes: dive-bombing hills, playing games and racing around the city. Conceptually, this still falls under the category of porn: For a Portland bike cultist, tall-bike jousting is as good as sex.



Curious, we have been promised tall bike sex for so long, its almost upsetting. And really the way some people have sex is a lot more like jousting than they would probably like to admit.

But rather than just call it a bit of nice, fluffy university media, Pettygrove goes one step further and begins to inspect and possibly even unravel the nature of sex positivity.


I also came to question the limits of the sex positivity movement. Can such a cerebral distinction actually draw the line between exploitation and empowerment? Though there were obvious elements of role reversal and satire in the raciest moments of Bike Porn — including a short that used a child’s bicycle to parody the concept of “kiddie porn,” and a scene in Tour de Pants that looked a lot like gang rape — I don’t imagine that a victim of sexual exploitation or assault could sit through the whole presentation and feel empowered.

Indeed. Just as one man's treasure is another man's cum bucket, so too there is no way to allow vast freedoms of expression without potentially ruffling a few feathers. That said another viewing might show that the "victim" of the gang rape gave verbal agreement to consent not once, but twice! Yea, we didn't notice it the 1st time either and it definitely is not using a very rigorous standard. (could she be expressing verbal agreement without actually providing informed conscent?)

The evening was punctuated by a surprisingly coherent expression of bikesexuality by almost everyone in attendance. The classroom was able to agree on a few points:





Either way, thanks for asking good questions. If there is a limit on the value of sex-positive culture we hope we never find it!


The show last night in Ashland was fantastic. What an amazing venue! They even had chairs! We were asked which hotel we stole our robes from and also had a request for unicycle porn.

On our way to San Francisco, with a possible polo turny in the works on Saturday!


naked pedicab joust photo credit to Solteronita, U of O Willamette 100 photos credit to Courtney Rodgers






Here we see our discussion with overhead projection displaying our theory on bike sex


dicks OR vags PLUS bikes DOES NOT EQUAL babies










Thank you Oregon, we will kiss your fertile soil again in just three months!
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Friday, December 4, 2009

ReMembering Eugene


Fleshback to Eugene one year ago. The plucky residents of Campbell Club willingly agree to host a curious idea. Bolstered by former sex-positive residents who could speak to the wonder and joy of Bikexploitation the perpetual students of Eugene open their doors (among other things) to the cadre of horny cyclists.

Their largest room is full to capacity packed in like massive ball bearings. The excited audience cheers gleefully, "Lets go on a naked bike ride!" The crowd pours out of the hall and into the streets. Hours later a spandex clad dance party rages in the kitchen until dawn.

Fleshforward to 2009. What will come of the poor unsuspecting viewers this year? What kind of reaction can be expected when the porn is turned up to eleven?

Shock? Inspiration? Perspiration? Time will tell, but we will not. What happens on Bike Porn Tour stays in the chamois. Its like a virus, but it is beneficial, so don't abstain, just relax, get comfortable, enjoy the show and when the time comes, scream out loud with exuberance.


  • Saturday December 5th
  • Campbell Club
  • 1670 Alder St Eugene, OR
  • 7:30pm, 18+
  • $5 donation
  • naked bike ride to follow
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Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Organ State vs University of Organ


Boomshakalaka, after an extended terrifying stint where our Eugene hosts decided not to return calls or emails we have found a new place to show the goods this weekend!

It is a battle of the bulge (in your pants) when these two titans of compete for best bike porn house party. The hairy Beavers of Corvallis seem to have the sexual advantage over the Eugene gregarious Ducks, but when these two Willamette Valley powerhouses play the field anything is possible.

1st up the Beavers will get their chance to put down some fly maneuvers. In-house bike limbo you say?!?!? With beer?!?!? Okay then.

Thursday, December 3rd
Corvallis Polo House
1700 nw kings
9:00 pm Adults Only,
$5 donation
after party with beer.
Bike Limbo, Dancing

Then to the U of Organ where going on a bike ride is a good enough reason to take your clothes off is hosting our collection of sexy bike movies on the coveted Saturday night position.

Saturday December 5th
Campbell Club
1670 Alder St Eugene, OR
7:30pm, 18+
$5 donation
naked bike ride to follow

We hope to end the Chain Whip in style. Come on down and whip it good.
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Friday, November 27, 2009

Slide Down the Valley


The Bike Porn Tour goes back to its roots: riding bikes! We are
heading down the Willamette Valley. The NW weather sux now but it should be much better by our departure next week.

Starting on Tuesday we will have a medium paced (70 miles/day) ride to Corvallis for a show on Thursday, December 3rd and to Eugene on Saturday, December 5th. We may be camping on Tuesday night, we have
large houses to crash in Wednesday-Saturday. These shows are free for anyone who rides with us but we hope that your presence. will inspire others. Bring your own beadroll. We will likely be having group meals

Interested parties should act quickly as there is an artificial cap of
accommodations for10 riders.

This are the last planned screenings of Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound in Oregon.
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Monday, November 23, 2009

josh guest post #2

Bike porn infamous tour chronicles -Ashland


"The Party Queen"


I only tolerated her as long as I did because of the bottle of SoCo that was in her possession...

But as bottles usually do, it ran out within a matter of time. Even with the liquor she was proving a difficult person to deal with. If caught in conversation with her, which was a daunting cliff to climb out of, you constantly felt your I.Q. slipping a couple points. And then there was the laugh, or was it the mating call of a giraffe with a sore throat, I forgot to ask. [moreover EVERY utterance was punctuated by said laugh making it a trademark behaviour - ed]


After the nights festivities I passed out, only to be awaken by that oh so familiar mating call and John Mayer covering Cyndi Lauper... I think. Apparently, while I had passed out, party queen on going at it, and was now approaching the “i don't give a fuck that everyone's asleep and Shania Twain is the shit, I'm gonna blast it!!!!” stage that we all know and love. Fortunately she knew she was obnoxious and annoying everyone, unfortunately the only way she felt to make it up to us was to turn up the “jams” and offer us this explanation:


*For more enjoyment, read the following section in the eloquent voice of a sorority valley girl all coked up and ready to make you curse god and/or evolution for giving you the ability to hear.


“Sorry for partying!!!! But this is how I do it, not in Portland but when I'm here this is what happens,

I work seven days a week, twelve hours a day with kids! So when I party I listen to shitty music and dance and I'm obnoxious!”


she carried on with this speech from couch to couch apologizing to the people who were already sleeping, what a saint. Two things came to mind when she approached the futon that I was trying to enjoy. One, Doesn't she have to work tomorrow? And if she thinks her own music is shitty why listen to it as well force others to deal with it?


One brave fellow, was waging a passive aggressive war with her by turning off the music, only to have her turn it back on. The party queen felt she had found a sympathetic ear in mine and confided that “I don't give a fuck, I don't live here now but I did, and that was before he did!! and I don't give a fuck!!!! he's dating my best friend and she was awesome before, I mean she still is...” I couldn't understand the rest of her babbling but she concluded with her signature catch phrase “i don't give a fuck! (insert sore throat giraffe mating call here)”. Thankfully I was the distraction and the aforementioned saint struck a dagger into that ugly dragons heart in the form of hiding the ipod from hell away. from its owner. After a few slammed doors and a “i don't give a fuck!!” we the oppressed were freed from tyranny of that party queen.


- Tanx Josh and tanx Ashland! We hope to return someday and see what kind of real trouble we can get into. Only Corvallis and Eugene remain... wait until December 3rd

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Friday, November 20, 2009

Sliding Down the Valley - not really

[this post was supposed to go out a while ago, we like the image enough to make you read it today]

Boom! We back in this Willamette Valley like a phallus sliding between cleavage.

We are taking Thanksgiving off to gorge ourselves and others.

Help us conclude the Chain Whip Tour in style.

Thursday, December 3rd
Corvallis OR

Saturday December 5th
Eugene, OR

A ride from PDX to down the valley is in the works. Who wants in?

photo credit to a strange, possibly liberal-hating sex blog? http://trollydolly.us/?p=3968

[we were not able to slide down the valley so we will do the next best thing and drive our stupid fucking car, which we are very grateful did not have any serious issues over the past 2 months]
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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Oh, we thought you said "Ass Land"


Back home in Oregon and it does feel fine. Now to make a run up the Willamette Valley. 1st stop is the fine town of Ashland.

Props to our local zoobomby friends who made this show possible. As well as the local polo scene whose balls we hope to smack when the time is right.

Anyone ever notice how cogs look like a masochist's cock ring? Yikes!

For sexy bike time come to
  • The Cumon I Leen
  • 753 Siskiyou
  • Ashland OR
  • Friday, November 20th
  • 9pm
  • $5 (no one turned away for lack of funds, but please help us get home!)

A great party with hot bike folk will be ongoing. Bring a few bones for good drink. Perhaps bike polo saturday?

We are stoked to be home in Oregon, a consistent sprinkling of rain has been sorely missed.

CORVALLIS! EUGENE! Cool your heels, we will be up in your bizness soon enough (*cough* 1st weekend of December *cough*)
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Friday, May 1, 2009

The 1st of May Brings Bike Flowers


May 1st is a hard day on a lotta people. Where our sex workers at?

This is not just a march, and specifically is not a March, nevertheless when last we check it was still rolling in the street!

It is a day for breathing in the beautiful bicycle flowers and for the bikes that they ride on are very lucky indeed.

It is a day for bike love and tighly wrapped poles.

Lots of people have cause to be in the streets. Who would deny us the right to to work? To organize? To parade?

No one. We think.


Regardless it was sunny but it was not exactly hot out.
Next time if you could touch yourself a little more, please?
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