++UPDATE++ The fine people at Joyride Cycles are into the porn AND want to go on a late night ride to a location for some night bike polo and other revelry. Be at the Red Room after the show.
++DOUBLE UPDATE++ the people who took down our image of the disk brake are possibly confused as we feel we have consent.
++TRIPLE UPDATE++ ok fine, the people who took down our image now realize that MOST people are not offended by bike parts. -----------------
Today the Chain Whip Tour begins, and four happy-go-fucky bikers commit to traveling thousands of miles by car to spread the a message of cycling and sex.
Driving is hard on us, so please if you see us, offer us bourbon or a cookie.
First stop is Boise, Idaho
Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound Wednesday October 14th Red Room 601 W. Main St. 9pm
++UPDATE++ THE SHOW IS PLANNED TO APPEAR AT AN YET UNDISCLOSED LOCATION PLEASE STANDBY!
Apologies to just about everyone for the convoluted and somewhat obscure references to Dune and the "roll and go" style bike stops that are legal in Idaho.
What is going on in Idaho?
Every day we get an email asking where is the show? When is the show? How is the show?
Rather then tell talk about how great the show is, or when we want to show it in Boise (Wednesday, October 14th) lets talk about where the show is...
WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THE SHOW IS GONNA BE
... yet
Last year we had a good time at a "closed bar" and that was pretty great, but this year we need something more encouraging of the audiences' attention. Plus there is a live show to be had as well. So we need a place that can fit a dozen or fifty sexy bikers. Maybe that is your living room! Do you have a large space, decent stereo system and some chairs? email us today at BikeSmut@gmail.com
We know that displaying sexual anything in Idaho can be rough, but we are hoping that a miracle will happen and the sex starved people of Boise will get the bike porn they deserve!
Also we would like to apologize for that image. Objectifying a state like that is not cool.
We came in hot and bothered after mutilating the FoSho's tape deck. Finally we were able to leave Hermiston by letting Justa's Father actually drill screws into the tape that would not eject. He was totally successful and we were were Boise bound.
Bike riding in Boise has been at the heart of an ongoing debate in Portland. Idaho Style would effectively change the law so that bikers treat stops signs as yield signs. We see most of the debate centered around a different question: "Do we trust cyclists to not kill themselves?" There is plenty of debate on that question as well of which entirely ignores that this idea is called "Idaho Style" because they have done it this way for almost 30 years to the benefit of bikers (who get to carry some inertia), motorists (who don't have to wait as long for bikers to get though an intersection) and law enforcement types who don't waste time writing tickets for petty offenses.
This all is rather moot in most U.S. cities where Police are usually eager to avoid having to write frivolous tickets for petty crimes. But maybe "The City that Works" is trying to do its part to "Keep Portland weird".
Somehow we forgot that the Boise Bike Polo players were expecting us. AUGH the misery, it would be days before we could get another polo game on, and weeks before any hardcourt polo action. Some day we will return to their parking lot with an agenda.
A slew of players came and watched the show at the bar turned micro-theater. The porno team drank for free which took the sting out of the marginal $65 we made at the door in donations. But a generous venue, and a crowded bar full of drunk fucks makes for a pretty rocking time.
Our Boise contacts have been helping bike advocacy for a while, some of them volunteer time at The Boise Bicycle Project while another has gone on to champion the resurgence of sexy among smart people. Horny rimmed glasses and tight hair buns cause lots of us to adjust ourselves so we hope it is going well.
Our endless search of the internet found this gem via http://nerdy-porn.com which we hope is the cute girl from Boise's website, but we are a little dubious.
Yeah, BSG is no longer cool, but there is a direct correlation between the amount of time one spends in school and the number of sexual partners whose name you cannot remember (or more likely never bothered to learn in the first place). Keep it hot nerds.
Presently they are a month away from their big week-long bike festival. er, that should be "The infamous Franken Bike Competition"
++UPDATE++
