Showing posts with label calipornication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label calipornication. Show all posts

Monday, November 24, 2008

Santa Cruz can go fuck bikes

The sleepy town of Santa Cruz has a rather large estate with a bunch of collective minded folk who are hosting the only screening of bike porn between LA and SF

Tuesday, November 25th
Paul Sweet House

3950 paul sweet rd.
santa cruz ca, 95065
7:30pm

Be ready for indoor footdown, jousting, mutant bikes, bike polo, dance party, visual projections of crazy crap... typical.
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Prepare for Santa Cruz

This message of preparation comes from MilzMilz, the Trash Crew member so nice he named himself twice:

You should know that there are lots of bikes for you guys to ride whilst here. you should know that if you by some crazy chance wanted to work on bike of some freaky sort whist you were here we have a grinder and welder on hand. you should know that we will be projecting in a room that fits 100-150 snuggly and i am expecting anywhere from 20-80 people and we are just projecting on a sheet over a window. you should know that i personally really want to play some footdown in that same room afterwards, and if we just move shit out of the way the games can begin. you should know that our property is your playground. you should know that we have jousts, they just happen to be a bit moldy. you should know that for reasons of every sort i havent edited the rest of the slaughterama footage, but when i do it'll be good. you should know that whatever has happened or will happen, life is still good. you should also know that me and kelly have to get out of town on wedensday to get ourselves to san diego to chill with my fam for thanksgivers so we will probibly need to take a bus or catch a ride to san jose around 12 or 1 or so. you should know that we have 82 sweet acres to hike on.
you should bring, you and your friends, you should bring the bike porn movies! if you have last years tucked away somewhere i really want to see those too!!, you should bring chips and salsa, you should bring your hiking shoes. you should bring your wilingness to party. you should bring some ambition to see some of santa cruz, you should bring the energy to stay up all night, you should bring a blunt. you should bring some good stories, you should bring earplugs (perhaps) you should bring the rukus.

P.S. you should bring a 12 pack and some pizza.

CHEERS!

--Millz

--millz
So there's our challenge, for people wanting to observe an indoor footdown post-porn dance party be at the Paul Sweet House Tuesday, November 25th
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Friday, November 21, 2008

From the pit of Hell-A


Just when we had given up on having a screening in Los Angeles, my new favorite Midnight Ridazz Marino steps up to deliver a gem of a location.

Sunday November 23rd
Bholanath Foto Studio & Urban Gallery
6042 Monte Vista St Los Angeles, Ca 90042

Moved to The Bike Oven
3706 North Figueroa St. in Highland Park
Los Angeles, CA 90046
8pm after polo.
If there's enough interest, we'll have another show at 10:30.


View Larger Map

Here is where we think polo is gonna be going down at 2pm on Sunday



Thanks for keeping the fucking bike dream alive:



Ideally our friends Chicken Leather and crew from Kill Radio will join us with some live broadcast action.


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Monday, November 17, 2008

Back to the CaliPornication

Yep we are still delivering the goods in the SW. On our way to California!



Our first stop is in in San Diego!
Wednesday, November 19th
Velo Cult
2220 Fern St
8pm


11/21 Friday we will be at Clairmont
11/2? Saturday or Sunday we are looking for a place in downtown LA.
11/25 Tuesday in Santa Cruz
11/28 Black Friday in San Francisco
11/29 Saturday in Oakland?
12/2 Tuesday in Arcata
12/4 Thursday in Eugene
12/5 Friday in Corvallis?

happy trails
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Thursday, January 3, 2008

Arrest, Denied Constitutional Rights, Bored Gestapo

This is the story of our friend Lauren and her time in jail this New Years. I talked to her just after her release on the morning of Thursday, January 3, 2008.

Her crew of friends went to go play in the desert some 40 miles North of the California-Mexico border. After a few days camping they were traveling north, away from the border, heading back to Oakland when they were stopped by Homeland Security.

The Flower Shop Bus is not a corporate branded coach with business professionals in suits. The outside is a unique, colorful explosion of art and counterculture; a rolling bohemian transport.

"But we never crossed the border. We never left US soil, and you have no reason or right to detain us," they protested.

Standing outside the bus with their police dog Homeland Security was not deterred."If this dog is not let on board the bus we are going to have to pull everyone off."

The passengers were not willing to give up their constitutionally protected rights. "We do not consent to a search," they said.

So the guards walked the dog around the outside of the bus. At some point the dog handler interpreted the dog's actions as a sign. "We have probable cause now. Everyone off the bus"

The passengers complied with the orders. "Funny thing," one of the passengers said. "Once they had decided they had probable cause to search the bus they did not bother to take the dog on board. They just started throwing things around."

The passengers were not trustful of the guards. "can we watch you search our bus?" They asked.

"You can observe from outside the bus." the guards said. Then just moments later all the passengers were told to go inside the holding cell at the Homeland Security station.

The Homeland Security guards searched everyone. They took everything other than one piece of ID and cash money. The passengers were then locked in little gray rooms. One with 6 guys. Another with 6 girls. Their accommodation included:
  • a toilet without seat
  • a water bottle
  • graham crackers and gas station burritos (enough food for one person shared between 6)

They were repeatedly told that they were not being held or detained. (Once a person is detained that person gains certain protections and rights, including being told why they are being detained. If the officer cannot tell you why you are being held you are free to go.)

To avoid letting their spirits dampen they played games like hurricane and farticane and tried to communicate with the other holding cell.

Eventually the guards brought everyone to a room with a table on which sat a pile of drugs: marijuana and mushrooms.

After a long moment they asked who was responsible for these drugs. Everyone was confused then, quickly, the passengers all became very irritated. They had just spent half a week in the desert. By the time they left their makeshift campsite they had almost nothing left. No paint for art, no food for eating, and certainly no drugs.

"Hey! Who's been holding out?!?"

It was explained to them that although there was no way to prove ownership they would all be charged with possession, trafficking and the like. They would not detained, nor held, but they would not be able to leave. Or, if they cooperated, and the owner took responsibility everyone else would go free.

After some discussion about their options it was decided that the driver would take the fall: misdemeanor possession of marijuana, and felony possession of mushrooms. Also a French girl who had overstayed her visa is in the process of being deported. Presently she is being held in San Diego.

Quipping about the drug war and the incredible waste of resources it creates, one anonymous passenger said, "I think they should go out and pluck all the plants that are illegal."

"It is rather ironic. Here are travelers on a lonely road... Here is a federal agency that I pay to keep me safe..."

Shawn was able to get Lauren a flight so that she could reconnect with the Bike Pornification Tour. She got off the plane onto the BART and caught the last half of the 2nd show in San Francisco.

Lovers of pornography beware! Our borders shrink every day and our rights diminish even faster. Persecution for behaving or appearing different is tantamount to enforcing a homogenized, milquetoast culture of xenophobia.

Wear protection, carry lube and be ready to defend your sovereignty .
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Out of the Living Room on to the Streets

What ho! Davis has all the infrastructure to make any city jealous (except some form of mass transit that connects with an elevator that takes one to the top of a hill in an old growth forest just outside an urban center... but other than that its great!)

The thing is they are suffering from a lack of culture to draw the like minded folks together. Last night viewers of The Pornography of the Bicycle came one step closer to an active bicycle culture.

30 people crammed themselves into a modest living room in the N St Cohousing. This was the first time we had a public screening in a private residence. It was a little different to be sure. In a big theater anonymity is very possible, even likely, and hecklers (totally encouraged) are unknown voices clamoring for more. But in a small space everyone knows who said what.

The big advantage was being able to take 15 min after the show to answer questions. So many questions. "Why did you do that?" "How do you normally ride on your saddle?" Does that hurt?"

The audience generously donated $75 to our humpalicious efforts. And then a motley crew consisting of a recumbent tricycle, a tallbike, a single speed, a pedal-electric hybrid 2 seater, and the mobile bike church trike rode off on those mean Davis streets.

Thanks guys, now go start up some bike polo league. I got a hankerin for some nice biker on biker violence.


TONIGHT! BIKE PORN @ THE ROXIE!
@ 7 and 9:30 pm
with gifts from Last Gasp and Good Vibrations
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Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Bring Porn Home

Tonight, Jan 2nd we are having the 1st ever public screening of The Pornography of the Bicycle in a private residence.

Our friend Pasture Ted has arranged for a nice spacious domicile at 732 N Street in the Platinum Bike City of Davis, CA. I'm looking forward to seeing 1st hand how much better it is than biking in Portland. I hear their cops still give out lights to bikers without them, so maybe i will get lucky.

Regardless this is a unique opportunity to experience these programs in a very intimate setting. Maybe I will talk for a bit afterward, or maybe I will get run out of town.

Thursday, January 3rd we screen our bike porn in San Francisco at the Roxie. Everyone's eyes light up when i say that so the theater must be pretty good.

We also got some sweet gifts from our friends at Good Vibrations. A book on masturbation a couple cockrings and more!

I want to thank Cyclecide for hosting the best NYE party I've been to in a while. Good people, good performances and no cover! I love me some free fun!
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Friday, December 28, 2007

Bike Porn @ the Vine


Its happening tonight in Los Angeles...

December 28th

8:30 pm @ The Vine Theater

6321 Hollywood Boulevard (@ Vine)


We have a game show, raffle with sweet prizes, a reenactment of the 2006 WNBR and that is all before the screening!

thanks to everyone who made this possible.
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Saturday, December 22, 2007

Countdown to Calipornification


I have abandoned my Portland bike mecca to take up arms (and legs) in the heart of car culture. Los Angeles! A fierce combination of cyclists are assisting me with the Bike Calipornification Tour.

We are hitting all the biggest, baddest, cycle-horniest places south of Portland on this tour: LA, SF, and CG*

One of the most exciting part for me is getting to meet some of the people who submitted videos. Both Paul de Carcass of the SFVISBF and Colin Arlen of Macaframa who co produced the San Francisco Track Bike video will get to see the entire program for the first time.

We are very thankful for our supporters who remind us that our bodies and our bikes need lots of love.

A variety of sponsors is helping to make this evening even more special... that is to say there is some cool stuff you might get just for showing up:


  • A display of too sexy bicycles, Merry Saddles is strutting its stuff.
  • One of the longest running, women operated sex stores in the country Good Vibrations is helping us shake it up in San Francisco.
  • Ashira of Red Riding Hood Productions has some hats.
  • Liz and Shay of C.I.C.L.E. are providing tshirts
  • Babeland has recently opened a new store in LA and is pulling out all the stops!

UPDATE: OH CRAP! I ALMOST FORGOT

  • Orange 20 bikes will support the cause with some of their fine wares
  • Jen Diamond has stepped up to provide one of her handmade Jerseys

screenings in Santa Cruz? Dubious. In Davis, CA? Likely! Bike Porn Radio interview New Years Day @ 5:15 PM with Pastor Ted.

*CG... as in Cottage Grove, Oregon. Duh.

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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

the big three down south: LA, SF and CG*

After 3 months and 100s of emails (really... hundreds of emails) we finally secured a venue in San Francisco.

The Roxie will host 2 screenings of bike porn on Thursday, January 3rd, 2008

This is in addition to the LA screening @ the Vine Theater on Friday, December 28th and the screening at Centro on January 5th in Cottage Grove, Oregon .

Finally we will see if Baghdad by the Bay can handle our Little Beirut filth.

*Little did you realize that Cottage Grove is a mecca for kickass perverts, but that's why you read this right?
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Saturday, December 8, 2007

more than just videos


Bike Porn has appeared in many flavors. At the Vine Theater in Los Angeles we are presenting one of my favorite. The wildly popular live action reenactment of the 2006 World Naked Bike Ride. Amanda Truscott will be there recreating her drugged out violent driving binge, we are still casting for the part of "naked victim of drunk-ass road roage." Also included are the naked "bikers" who continuously provide the backdrop for the mayhem.


Even more exciting is that Merry Saddles has agreed to display some of their fine wares. These ornate yet functional pieces may be available for sale to a loving home.

I would steal all her artwork for posting here but really you owe it to yourself to see it live @ the Vine Theater in Hollywood on December 28th.


doors open @ 8:30,
show starts @ 9pm

last time I was in LA I broke a vacuum. Things will probably not be any less crazy this time
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Saturday, November 24, 2007

Calipornificaion Tour: disfrute bici pornografía

Scheduling shows has been challenging. Even though I gave myself more than 2 months of lead time it seems that there is never enough preparation. Just this week a stunning blow came when I learned the venue I had hoped to use in SF could not fit in with our travel schedule, by one day!

oh the suffering.

That is why it feels so very good to have verbal confirmation of The Vine Theater in LA. We are still in negotiations but expect the screening to be on Friday, December 28th.

There are so many cool people in LA. If I had not gone there for Bikesummer I might not even believe how great they are.

Thanks to C.I.C.L.E. and Ashira for their support!
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Thursday, October 11, 2007

California, we are coming for you!



Who Put the Porn in California?

You did!
Just like with Ed McMahon's sweepstakes you may already be a winner of bike porn at a theater near you.

At the moment our offices are working overtime to schedule a California tour of The Pornography of the Bicycle. Do you know venue that should to host it?

Ask yourself these questions:
  • Do you envision yourself flying down a hill, carving up scenery?
  • Do you feel attacked by others due to your "perverted" biking behavior?
  • Do you yearn to hold a smooth, tapered steel seat tube?
  • Do you wake up with a hole in your heart the size of a bottom bracket?

Than you are an ideal candidate to help make Bike Porn a reality in California.

The tour spans 2 weeks from approx December 23rd to Jan 6th

Do you have what it takes? email our offices today!

revphil [at] gmail [dawt] com

If you are still not convinced try watching our trailer for the last Bike Porn Tour
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Friday, October 5, 2007

Enjoy Calipornication

It appears that once again, this holiday season Shawn and I will find ourselves traversing the majesty that is California. Of course, this time we wont be showing Bike Love2: Outta PDX.

The dates are a little fuzzy still, but I believe that we will drive (eep!) straight down to LA, then take our time coming back to Portland screening it along the way... kinda like stopping to hump the flowers.

You could help bring Bike Porn to your home! Contact me and tell me you are a dirty Californian (or Southern Oregon) biker in need of release.

meanwhile enjoy some almost not quite porn that is not at all bike related but is on theme, kinda.

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