Defining Your-ination

While examining Ottawa's Cat Sanctuary we met a resident of Quebec. According to him we will be traveling to an entirely different country today. For sure the residents of Quebeqaw have a separatist history longer than Oregon, Idaho or Montana.

So, will Bike porn have to worry about crossing the Ontario - Quebec border?

Come to the Death Church and learn the sorted details of border crossings, smuggling obscenity, and lazy, stuffed pussy.


But first enjoy a fine, candid interview from just yesterday:



So, what do you think the raccoon is thinking when he looks back at us?

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Canadian Reviews - 4:PLAY

Well its been a pretty crazy ride so far, there have been epic barn burning-style parties; sedate, yet attentive coffee shop explorations; consensual biker body touching (sort of the opposite of personification of a bike) and we still have the "Canadian Sex Capitol" coming up tomorrow!

But what do the Canadians think? They can be a reluctant bunch, requiring prodding, jabbing, heckling, even "awkward salmoning" just to get a response.

Well here is the time and place to share your opinions. Remember, this is only for Canadians (or people who saw the smut in Canada). So no cheating!

Here's your set up...

"I SAW BIKE SMUT 4: PLAY AND..."

comments muthafucka, do you leave them!?!?

photo credit to lisalisa

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are you gonna finish that?

Vancouver provides a lot of excitment and... rather aggressive hardware?!?



Thanks for the fine times with your well lubed machines, Canada. We loved the live performances, the responsive crowds and sharing the bike love in BC. We will see you again in Mid March when we journey to Toronto, Ottawa, and Montreal!

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US Border threatened by Canadian Hot Inch Action

Without a doubt, we love aspects of our American heritage. Its a challenge accepting the burden of being the world superpower with lots of personal freedom and people from all over doing different things and making good stuff happen.

We love that we can delineate a space. Being from a specific place does give us a sense of who we are. But there are a lot of reasons why that delineation sucks. Border guards, for example, are skilled at fucking with people who dont conform to their expectations.

Here is yet another great example of why borders are TEH SUXOR!

Friends of Bike Porn Industries have been curating a show of buttons. The small, coin-like disks represent just about any opinion are part of the holey trinity of DIY idea distribution (along with stickers and patches). Hot One Inch Action encouraged everyone to design a button, which would then be produced and available at their traveling art show.


It was wildly popular in Seattle and Vancouver, BC (where the organizers hail from) and the Portland show was scheduled for tonight... but then, there are customs and there are Customs:

Hi everyone, sorry to say that Hot One Inch Action in Portland tonight has to be postponed until a future date. The buttons were denied entry - they didn't believe we give most of them away and sell buttons for only $1 each. The show is ready to go so we'll sort out the border and reschedule. Do a search for our Facebook fan page or email buttons@hotoneinchaction.com to hear about when the show will happen. Sorry- we're super disappointed and look forward to making it happen in the future.

we call bullshit when we see it.

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TomTom v.1.5 with complete maps of USA, Canada, Mexico v.855.2934 - iPhone 4 (2010)

TomTom v.1.5 with complete maps of USA, Canada, Mexico

TomTom v.1.5 with complete maps of USA, Canada, Mexico v.855.2934 for iPhone 4 (2010)



Size: 1.81 GB



Year: 2010



Software version: 1.5



Revision cards: 855.2934



Developer: TomTom



System Requirements: iPhone 4 iOS 4.1 Jailbreak



Language: Multilingual (Russian present)



Crack: Not required (cured)



New version of TomTom has improved user interface that is optimized for the iPhone 4. The revitalization of users can view the cartographic materials with high resolution. In addition, added a new navigation function to the photo. The function allows you to retrieve photos from geotagging location coordinates and plot a route to it.



Key features:



- IQ Routs: Uses knowledge of millions of drivers for the most rapid promotion at any time;

- HD traffic: the best information on the movement of passing the tube and precision of the time booked arrival at destination (application fee);

- ALG;

- Search on Google;

- Auto-day and night;

- Ability to rotate the screen portrait and the book;

- Mute the music during voice prompts;

- Save the navigation during telephone calls;

- Speed cameras and more.



Changes in new version:

- Coverage. Detailed map covering 99.9 percent of the U.S., Canada and Mexico

- Map is optimized for the iPhone 4. Improved graphics resolution, clear maps. Menu with improved sensitivity to touching, more accurate positioning, even in conditions of aggravated receiving GPS.

- Browse photos. Collect GPS location where the photo you want to go and TomTom will take you there!

- The new updated map. Because the roads during the year vary on average by 15 percent, applications TomToma go to the most recent cards, ready to navigate. Do not need mobile connection or relationship with these Internet to view the map and a route to your destination.

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after the pegging

Occasionally, we are treated to a bit of afterthought in the media. Apparently Canadian heartland is now on the bikesexual map!

Bikesmut.com was in town last night and eager volunteers in the city put together a show at the Emma Goldman Center in less than 24 hours with a full crowd. The movies were funny, sexy, clever, and very creative.

Thanks to the anonymous writer of this article in Praerie City who apparently enjoyed themselves at the show.

ah the memories...

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Moovin Down on Cow Town

We are about to make our final stop in Alberta, Canada

Our show in Edmonton was fantastic! The walls of Bike Works reverberated with all the pent up sexual excitement accustomed to a provincial capital. Can Calgary up the ante?

• 5/21/2010 Calgary
• Emmedia
• #203, 351 - 11th Ave SW, Calgary
• 7pm
  
• $10, a fundraiser for the Anarchist Book Fair! Whoohoo learning shit is cool!
  
• 18+

The Texas of the north has been pretty great to us so far.

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Top of the Bike Porn World, Ma!

Behold, our northern climax (53 degrees north, specifically) of this The Backlash Tour... the most epic of Bike Porn Tours yet.

• Edmonton, Alberta
• Tuesday, May 18th
• Bike Works
• 10047 80 Ave, use the alley entrance just south of 80 Ave.
• 9:30 pm

From Wikipedia:

The metropolitan area had a population of 1,034,945,^[2] making it the northernmost North American city with a metropolitan population over one million. The 2009 civic census showed a population of 782,439.^[4] At 684 km² (264 sq mi), the City of Edmonton covers an area larger than Chicago, Philadelphia, Toronto, or Montreal. Edmonton has one of the lowest urban population densities in North America

You hear that you American sprawlwads? The most sparcely populated city and they still have a thriving bike culture. Enough so that they were able to entice us. The good people at BikeWorks were so kind as to harass us into making sure we were going to head all that way north.

Hell yea we are gonna go there! It is home to North America's largest mall, West Edmonton Mall (which was the world's largest mall for 23 years from 1981 until 2004),^[9] and Fort Edmonton Park, Canada's largest living history museum. How we gonna miss out on that?

They even had a friggin THUNDER LIZARD named after them! Where the fuck is our Portlandsaurus at anyway?

Plus they play polo. So... yea, we are in.

Then it is on to Calgary where we get to play a fundraiser for their Anarchist Book Fair! Damn has self liberation ever looked so sexy?

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Little House Show on the Porny Prarie

We have arrived in sAssCanPoon Canda!

Its gonna be a sweet house show with pillows and such.

Off to enjoy some local culture before the final screening of Bike Porn in "Sir Scat U. Juan"

• Sunday May 16th in Saskatoon
• 402 Ave G, South
• at 19th st
• 11pm
• Donation

Then we play in Edmonton the northern peak of this tremendous quest of bikesexuality.

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Bike Porn in your Regina

Behold the goods are here and coming true!

thanks be to local bike punks who have taken us traveling pornographers in!

Details are still being worked thru but expect them right here soon!

*UPDATE*

• 8 PM

• Montague House
  

• Donations welcome!

• BYOB (booze, bikes, boobs, butts, etc)

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A soft warm place to stay in Regina

We are not dead in the streets, in fact, we almost decided to do a midnight show. But we think our Regina show has been postponed 20 hours.

Be ready for fun times at the provincial capitol Saturday night!

Expect a show in Saskatoon on Sunday!

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bike porn takes the whole peg

Virtually, and with emotion, we are taking the providence of manitoba by submission!

At the crossing it seemed "we done been pillaged by the rather tax-heavy border guard." And were allowed entry. For the border's billing purposes there were more than 50 pills in a container that seemed practically empty.

But we are here. We are queer. We are used to it.

Power to the bike perverts!

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3 cheers for CANADA!

Bike Porn is bringing it for three nights across the Canadian east side

4/23/2010 Ottawa
arthurs court
41 arthur st
8pm $5 donation adults only

4/24/2010 Montreal
Interstice
242 Young at the corner of Ottawa in Griffintown
Doors at 7pm, Show starts at 8pm (sharp!)
$5 to $12 sliding scale 18+
Bike Ride from Plateau, meets at Parc des Amériques (Rachel & St-Laurent) at 6pm, leaves at 6:30.


4/25/2010 Toronto
CineCycle
Coach House
down the lane behind 129 Spadina Ave.
on the east side between Richmond St. W. and Adelaide St. W., Toronto.
8 PM Door open 9 PM begin screening

Dear anonymous commenter, thanks for the address correction! this is so exciting, we have been looking forward to playing for ages!

All of our hosts in Canada have been completly wonderful. From a delicious Dim Sum breakfast in Ottawa to a homemade bike porn done just 12 hours before the show!

stunning! Tanx!! We hope to return soon!

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PreBacklash Cascadian Bikesmut Tour Report

WOW! incredible shows!

thanx Vancouver and Victoria!

man, we love getting sporty and active but the Olympics are totally fucked!

We are stunned that we could be fined $10,000 for not wearing the right clothes! any signs, buttons or displays of anything that not "celebrating" the Olympic games. any sponsors that are not the Official Sponsors.

and specifically bend over for the IOC. The International Committee for Olympic Profit-Motivated DoucheBaggery.





a bit of a media day in downtown Vancouver BC...



but sport is totally alive! It doesn't require a lot of money, or even matching shirts (although they are way cool.)



Sports can be fun without having to exploit resources or evict people. In fact sports are often more enjoyable when you just leave people where they are.




mobetta Brittish Columbia photo journaljizm coming soon!

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The final exploitation

The end of a great year for our international bike humpty team, TONIGHT is the final screening of Bike Porn 2: Bikexploitation (as in bicycle exploitation).

If you are not in Vancouver BC you are limited to expressing yourself in pirave, but if you ARE in East Van than you can express yourself in PIRATE!

viva bike pirates

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Porno for (p)AYE! ROW!(s)

That is right we got a full schedule of posi-core bike fun and sexuality!

Thursday
Midnight Mass (please don't dust us)

Friday,
Critical Mass
we wonder if they are still meeting at the Vancouver Art Gallery on the Georgia Street side, let us know in the comments?

The ONLY Bike Porn 2 screening in Vancouver
153 East 10th
8:30 PM
$10 benefits the WNBR and BikeSmut.com

followed by a
Pirate Party!
10-2am Dance party w peep show starring G.G. Bottoms!
DJ Tom Cunningham IV and more
Cheap as free if you are a pirate

Saturday
East Van Bike Polo


Sunday
Seymour Bomb!



Honestly, we should be selling tickets to this kinda stuff. But its free sexy fun on your bike and you can do it anytime you want!

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More hot canadian action

After successfully dry humping Victoria's seat tube what is there to do but continue on a Canadian adventure from British Columbia's Capitol City to Vancouver!

On Friday, May 29th after Critical Mass
we are collaborating with a friggin Pirate Party (wenches with wrenches) as a fund raiser for Vancouver's World Naked Bike Ride.

Expect it to rain hotness from the sky for weeks to come.


This will likely be they final screening of Bike Porn 2: Bikexploitation.

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Bike Prom in Victoria

The fun on Vancouver Island is packed tighter than the bearings on a Chris King hub.

Bike Prom is this weekend in Victoria, and our jaunty crew of sexy bikers are about to set sail from our homebase of Portland, Cascadia. Check their website for the formal details.

Events include: alley cat, art show, mystery rides, bike polo turny, prom ride, the Bike Rider's Ball, and finally the "Morning After" a special AM screening of Bike Porn 2: Bikexploitation when you least need it. Just to remind you how dirty this glamorous lifestyle is.

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Bike Polo (not porno) at Bike Prom

Sure, polo is sexy but is is also a brutal blood sport. And while we frequently remind folks that we don't deride others for their sexual perversions we do like to occasionally delineate between violence and sex. So during this bike sexually charged weekend no matter what sport you are playing be sure to wear the appropriate gear/protection.

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Slow Dancing your Ride

Our 1st official screening in 2009 is coming up this weekend at Victoria's Bike Prom!


Sunday, April 26th
The Morning After: Cure your morning-after woes with black coffee and Victoria's premiere of Bike Porn 2: Bikexploitation. 11am. Location TBA at the Bike Rider's Ball.

It will be a weekend to remember fo sho.

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