Plotting a Course to Porn Part 1

Looking into the future of bike porn can be an exciting and even terrifying experience. Will there be blood? ritual sacrifice? pierced taints?!?

What we can know is where we are planning on going. Starting in 2010 we have the most daring Bike Porn Tour yet. Over 10 thousand miles long across 35 states, 6 providences and a few countries.

We would love your help but how does the blog reader help anything? Isn't it our job to be narcissistic bloggers and your job to post inane comments?

WHERE'S THE ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT EVEN?

Well maybe, we are trying to encourage you to do it better and if that means straddling a bike from the future of 20 years ago topless in heels with some Gordi La Forge sunglasses on, so be it. But just being able to see ok night is not good enough, we travel so fast on bikes wearing heels we want to keep other safe from us!

Behold the latest in safe bike sex:



if you are interested in witnessing this display in person you can see our curent hot program one last time before we leave on our epic quest.

3 Cascadian Shows!



Friday, February 5th
One Two One Studios
121 Heatly St
8:00 pm Doors, $7-10 Sliding Scale, 19+
Presented by www.RevelrySociety.org
With LIVE PERFORMANCE and indoor bike parking
click here for sweet flier action


Saturday, February 6th, Victoria BC
Camas Collective Books & Infoshop
2590 Quadra St. (corner of King St.)
Screenings at 7pm and 9pm, $7, +19

Velo Vixens xxxRacexxx

Get ready to love your bike like never before.
6pm Camas Bookstore. $7
(includes admission to the bike porn screening!)

click here for sweet Victoria flier action


Thursday, February 11th, Portland, OR
Lotus Seed
4635 Northeast 9th Avenue
Screening at 10pm
Mini Bike Winter Kickoff Party
DIY Stencil Station
Panel Discussion: "SHOULD Bikes Save the Planet" at 8:30

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reMEMBERing Boise

We came in hot and bothered after mutilating the FoSho's tape deck. Finally we were able to leave Hermiston by letting Justa's Father actually drill screws into the tape that would not eject. He was totally successful and we were were Boise bound.

Bike riding in Boise has been at the heart of an ongoing debate in Portland. Idaho Style would effectively change the law so that bikers treat stops signs as yield signs. We see most of the debate centered around a different question: "Do we trust cyclists to not kill themselves?" There is plenty of debate on that question as well of which entirely ignores that this idea is called "Idaho Style" because they have done it this way for almost 30 years to the benefit of bikers (who get to carry some inertia), motorists (who don't have to wait as long for bikers to get though an intersection) and law enforcement types who don't waste time writing tickets for petty offenses.


Bicycles, Rolling Stops, and the Idaho Stop from Spencer Boomhower on Vimeo.

This all is rather moot in most U.S. cities where Police are usually eager to avoid having to write frivolous tickets for petty crimes. But maybe "The City that Works" is trying to do its part to "Keep Portland weird".

Somehow we forgot that the Boise Bike Polo players were expecting us. AUGH the misery, it would be days before we could get another polo game on, and weeks before any hardcourt polo action. Some day we will return to their parking lot with an agenda.

A slew of players came and watched the show at the bar turned micro-theater. The porno team drank for free which took the sting out of the marginal $65 we made at the door in donations. But a generous venue, and a crowded bar full of drunk fucks makes for a pretty rocking time.

Our Boise contacts have been helping bike advocacy for a while, some of them volunteer time at The Boise Bicycle Project while another has gone on to champion the resurgence of sexy among smart people. Horny rimmed glasses and tight hair buns cause lots of us to adjust ourselves so we hope it is going well.

Our endless search of the internet found this gem via http://nerdy-porn.com which we hope is the cute girl from Boise's website, but we are a little dubious.


Yeah, BSG is no longer cool, but there is a direct correlation between the amount of time one spends in school and the number of sexual partners whose name you cannot remember (or more likely never bothered to learn in the first place). Keep it hot nerds.

Presently they are a month away from their big week-long bike festival.

er, that should be "The infamous Franken Bike Competition"

Well done Boise!

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