New York is the end of the road for our smutty bike team in North America. If you didn't see 4:PLAY by now you might not get a chance. We don't sell DVDs, its not online and we don't get to play the same city twice. But if you are in New York this Saturday, and you consider yourself mature enough to watch porn with friends and strangers than you have a chance for EPIC BIKE LOVE! For not only do we have the final Northern Exposure Tour screening of Bike Porn 4: PLAY but also a chance to see the hottest new bicycle dance troop, Heelz on Wheelz!
Sit down. Breathe. Check your pulse. Its still too early to flip your shit. Glorious, inspiring, erotic bicycle movies are coming
============ We interrupt this self congratulatory blog post with a healthy dose of luscious bloggity masturbation ============ "This isn’t your mom and dad’s porn. This isn’t even the stuff adolescent boys dream of; it’s porn with a niche, porn for a specific counterculture looking for some offbeat fun." Dig Boston article by -JENNIFER CHOI
“The goals have always been to showcase work that is under-represented. Sometimes it’s queer, sometimes it’s women, and sometimes it’s straight men. Regardless, it’s all work that nurtures me and my communities and makes Boston a little more bearable” CineMental founder Aliza Shapiro. ============ We now return to our regularly scheduled self love. ============ WE IS SO LOVED!
Boston really loves Bike Porn. Last year the bikesexuals of Boston made it clear, these people love bikes and sex. Approximately 450 fine-ass-fuck lovers of cycles packed the Brattle to the gills.
Here is a snippet of what has been said in the buildup: border guard life for the touring bike pornographer
"Put down your messenger bag, roll down your pant leg, and stop freaking out drivers and pedestrians for a moment" ZING! The New Gay throws down some find derogatory fashion commentary
And finally, the Phoenix demands that you watch the goods! "Bike Porn: for some reason when you put those two words together, they sound extra dirty"
Well its been a pretty crazy ride so far, there have been epic barn burning-style parties; sedate, yet attentive coffee shop explorations; consensual biker body touching (sort of the opposite of personification of a bike) and we still have the "Canadian Sex Capitol" coming up tomorrow!
But what do the Canadians think? They can be a reluctant bunch, requiring prodding, jabbing, heckling, even "awkward salmoning" just to get a response.
Well here is the time and place to share your opinions. Remember, this is only for Canadians (or people who saw the smut in Canada). So no cheating!
BEHOLD, a cut a pastie press release from the future!
BIKE SMUT:::LORD MORPHEOUS:::GOLDSPRINTS+Beautiful music into the night :)
For my last dirty thirty I will be having a smashing party at my favourite space Centre of Gravity.
The amazing film festival, Bike Smut will be coming through Toronto that weekend on The Northern Exposure Tour. Some of you might have came out last year to Bike Porn 3. This will be a very special evening :)
I have planned an installation with the help of my good friend Morpheous (who is "The Man" in the BDSM world) called "Exotic Bikes" Morpheous and his crew will be doing a very special erotic japanese bondage installation with the bikes and attendees.
And of course GoldSprints will be happening throughout the nite.
There are piles of bikes and piles of bikers and biles of bikes on bikers but what happens in Buffalo, stays between your legs until you dismount.
Friday, March 18th
the vault
702 main st
8pm
$5 donation
adults only
last time we got some specific examples of how the ladies of Buffalo treat their men. Or how stokers support their pilots? Whichever its going down again and tho we hope not to be assaulted during our performance like last time we do expect a sweet dance party to erupt like a jet powered, full suspension, extended minibike.
Afterward we press on into the wild Canadian fortier, standby Toronto, Ottawa and Montreal!
We are mad ass on and we're not gonna take it anymore!
The road has been good to us, traveling around meeting people, sharing ideas and slappin saddles.
Today we got to march, to chant, to join in a community of people who are committed to doing it in the street! Tonight we return to "the Portland of the North" to share all the secrets of 4:PLAY with the bikesexuals of Madison!
Friday, March 11 Lothlorien coop 244 W Lakelawn Pl 7:00pm - 10:00pm
The Northern Exposure Tour has begun. We traveled 350 miles in our 1st day to deliver the goods to the Cougars of Pullman, WA who were ecstatic to play bike polo on the snow covered courts (snowlo). Fantastic crashes! No fatalities!
Our host was morning the death of a parent, so we decided to give time and solace to morn in peace. Another space opened up immediately and although there were no shortage of challenges making a theater out of a garage the audience was enthralled.
You might think the name says it all, but you’ll be surprised by the range of films – from bike-on-bike action to humans obsessed with the ‘perfect frame’ – in this crazy, amazing touring program.
They swing mallets, skid on dime bags, and will whack your balls into the gaping 5-Hole! They are the fine polo playing bikesexuals of Austin, TX, and they demand more 4:PLAY!
Thanks for stepping up to demand more quality programming for consenting adults. We hope to be back in your shorts in 2012!
What tragedy! We have been getting great traction all over North America, with numerous oversexed bikers lamenting out inability to be on their shammies until March, or April, or 2012 even.
But now we have learned that there might be NO ONE in all of Montana that wants to jack their seat-post for us! It was only 9 months ago that we proudly presented our biker junk for the whole of Missoula to enjoy, to which they rose out of their chairs and pants in triumphant rejoice.
How can be?
Perhaps is time to remind our dear readers that while we do plenty of grandiose performances at places like The Music Box, The Byrd, The Brattle, The Hollywood Theater... each of which are historical treasures in their own right, that we also have done shows in yoga studios, sex parlors, garages, basements, living rooms, underpasses, and mirror sculpture gardens.
As a friend once told us, a church is a people, not the building in which they pray. So too shall our gathering of consenting adults to engage and dissect the creative musings of sexy bike artists not be defined by the space in which we show as much as the willingness of the audience to learn and share and engorge... er grow.
If you know someone who should be hosting a screening of Bike Porn in Montana (ideally along I-90) on March 3rd-5th tell them to ping us up at bikesmut@gmail.com immediately! This is the only chance to get 4:PLAY.
This is our calling. We bring bike love to the masses. In turn, you bring the masses to us.
Bike Porn 4PLAY is proudly presented by: BIKE SMUT, Revolting Queers and QBG
How cool is that. We are totally gonna throw down for the QBG, just read their totally awesome/radical/bike punk statement:
Queer Bike Gang (QBG) consists of a bunch of Queers who wanna ride bikes together around the Twin Cities. You're perfect for QBG if: 1)You're a homo/lez/bi/trans/genderqueer/label-free or ally 2)You sort of know how to ride a bike 3)You want to hang out with others like you.
We exist so everyone can learn and have fun in a safe and welcoming environment and as a healthy, alternative venue for Queers to socialize, network, and share ideas. We endorse Queer political activism, sexual health advocacy, and the three R's (reducing, reusing, and reCYCLING, that is!).
New York is the end of the road for our smutty bike team in North America. If you didn't see 4:PLAY by now you might not get a chance. We don't sell DVDs, its not online and we don't get to play the same city twice. But if you are in New York this Saturday, and you consider yourself mature enough to watch porn with friends and strangers than you have a chance for EPIC BIKE LOVE! For not only do we have the final Northern Exposure Tour screening of Bike Porn 4: PLAY but also a chance to see the hottest new bicycle dance troop, Heelz on Wheelz! 
