Fleshback to Eugene one year ago. The plucky residents of Campbell Club willingly agree to host a curious idea. Bolstered by former sex-positive residents who could speak to the wonder and joy of Bikexploitation the perpetual students of Eugene open their doors (among other things) to the cadre of horny cyclists.
Their largest room is full to capacity packed in like massive ball bearings. The excited audience cheers gleefully, "Lets go on a naked bike ride!" The crowd pours out of the hall and into the streets. Hours later a spandex clad dance party rages in the kitchen until dawn.
Fleshforward to 2009. What will come of the poor unsuspecting viewers this year? What kind of reaction can be expected when the porn is turned up to eleven?
Shock? Inspiration? Perspiration? Time will tell, but we will not. What happens on Bike Porn Tour stays in the chamois. Its like a virus, but it is beneficial, so don't abstain, just relax, get comfortable, enjoy the show and when the time comes, scream out loud with exuberance.
Boomshakalaka, after an extended terrifying stint where our Eugene hosts decided not to return calls or emails we have found a new place to show the goods this weekend!
It is a battle of the bulge (in your pants) when these two titans of compete for best bike porn house party. The hairy Beavers of Corvallis seem to have the sexual advantage over the Eugene gregarious Ducks, but when these two Willamette Valley powerhouses play the field anything is possible.
1st up the Beavers will get their chance to put down some fly maneuvers. In-house bike limbo you say?!?!? With beer?!?!? Okay then.
Thursday, December 3rd Corvallis Polo House 1700 nw kings 9:00 pm Adults Only, $5 donation after party with beer. Bike Limbo, Dancing
The Bike Porn Tour goes back to its roots: riding bikes! We are heading down the Willamette Valley. The NW weather sux now but it should be much better by our departure next week.
Starting on Tuesday we will have a medium paced (70 miles/day) ride to Corvallis for a show on Thursday, December 3rd and to Eugene on Saturday, December 5th. We may be camping on Tuesday night, we have large houses to crash in Wednesday-Saturday. These shows are free for anyone who rides with us but we hope that your presence. will inspire others. Bring your own beadroll. We will likely be having group meals
Interested parties should act quickly as there is an artificial cap of accommodations for10 riders.
This are the last planned screenings of Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound in Oregon.
[this post was supposed to go out a while ago, we like the image enough to make you read it today]
Boom! We back in this Willamette Valley like a phallus sliding between cleavage.
We are taking Thanksgiving off to gorge ourselves and others.
Help us conclude the Chain Whip Tour in style.
Thursday, December 3rd Corvallis OR
Saturday December 5th Eugene, OR
A ride from PDX to down the valley is in the works. Who wants in?
photo credit to a strange, possibly liberal-hating sex blog? http://trollydolly.us/?p=3968
[we were not able to slide down the valley so we will do the next best thing and drive our stupid fucking car, which we are very grateful did not have any serious issues over the past 2 months]
The matter of sexualized politics has become galvanized for many of us in the bikesex industry.
Naked riders are taking to the streets more than ever and organizers have increasingly found themselves dancing on the verge of cognitive dissonance.
Are nudists using bike culture to promote bare bodies? Are cyclists hiding (very little) behind their constitutional right to political expression? Are attention whores using media to show us their wangs? Are pedestrians using us as a rolling strip club? Are bikers using pedestrians to get free drinks? Are Google searches for naked bike rides at an all time high?
In summary: we want to know who is using whom.
We are fortunate that presently none of the answers to those questions change what it is like to ride naked all that much. In the future however, all naked bike rides may be plagued by all manner of distractions and such.
What to make of all this attention? It definitely has its pluses and minuses.
For example, it feels like we should be grateful that a car blog would cover the World Naked Bike Ride. They actually do a pretty good job of sheepishly reminding people why the WNBR exists. For a car blog to even acknowledge the matter of oil dependency and car culture without being overly rude seems like a big step. But then they totally snubbed Portland's record setting naked ride. We would take issue with their lack of journalistic integrity, but it is just as likely that they will have similar feelings about our recent presidential election coverage.
Besides, there are those of us who feel things like the World Naked Bike Ride should be clouded in mystery. Car blogs reporting on bike culture will go a long way towards generating more mystique. Do you really care when and where WNBR actually started? Pffft... BOORING!! A better question is when did riding a bike naked become wrong? Given the power of time travel we at BikeSmut.com promise swift kicks in the crotch to those lame pricks.
But what of clothed radical biking? If it seems like loosing all your clothes is the only way for a cyclist to make a point or get protection from the law we suggest you try reading fewer bike porn websites. Pedaling Revolution by Jeff Mapes attempts to explain the importance of cycling to the future of these United States... we think... at least according to the reviews so far (which have all been good, although "allworldcars.com" might have an interesting perspective).
He reads from his book this Thursday, March 19th at Powells in Portland. For those in the audience: expect awkward questions and evasive answers about Mapes' personal feelings on bike sexuality.
------ later on... what is up with people in the southern hemesphere? why is there weather so fucked?!?
